November 10, 2013

20 something

     Hi, my name is Lexy Gray (Hi Lexy! you'll all say), I'm 32 years old (sorry, I'm in my late 20's), I was cheated on by my 43 year old French ex (that we now call Bob) with a 26 year old blonde illiterate peasant, I have a 4 year old son with the 43 year old and a 6 month old relationship with a 23 year old guy that we call the KID (he knows and he's fine with it). 

     Too many numbers in my life...way too many for this late hour when I'm writing this (some know why:)
   Now... even though I find this fun and crazy from the outside, a relationship with a younger man makes any woman go crazy...for..many reasons. Where should I start?

1st: some of us are not quite prepared to resist
physically cause they're ready anytime for the long run and they don't seem to stop ...ever. Girls, you do know what I'm talking about, right? 

A girl (especially one my age) needs her sleep, God damn it! Even though

I'm not asking for beauty sleep, but at least enough to be able to..perform:) Of course, I'd have nothing against if I was left to sleep know.

2nd: society looks at us as if we were child molesters.
    I, for one am constantly thinking that I should let him live his life, instead of depriving him of everything youth has got to offer (other girls, clubbing, loads of unprotected sex with complete strangers, etc).  
    Actually, I feel that I'm actually depriving myself of all these things...
     Men are never judged the same way, don't you agree, girls? It's ok for Hef to be 90 and have a 20 something chick, right?
   Oh, and we're even worse if we have kids from previous relationships. Cause apparently, lots of people still think there's nothing worse than a single mom who's bringing a kid into her relationship with a ...KID ;) least in my country

3rd: a 20 year old guy 'risks' to become your child's playmate - and this is not necessarily good - cause if the relationship ends, there won't be just one heartbroken, but two. So, what to do ..what to do...Is it better not to involve your 20 something in your family activities for ...let's say...about 10 years? or better yet..would it be better for your child not to see him/her at all for the same period of time? 
    Come to think of it,maybe I should have kept the relationship nocturnal..

4th: a 20 something requires the same amount of attention (or maybe more) as your own child and will punish you when not getting it.

   Yap, I'm living it...It's the end of the world if he doesn't receive a reply to his
20th text message and will question my commitment to the relationship if I don't share candy between my son and him. Seriously, he once started a huge fight cause I didn't want to give him my son's chocolate. How fu*&ed up is that? Sorry about the bad language. I'm not usually like this.

   Ok, I got the make up sex after, but he never got the chocolate...muahahaha

5th: the 20 something is unpredictable and will change his/her mind many times - I'm actually the queen of indecision, but I see I could be even worse.

6th: you may have different tastes in...everything
     let's develop, shall we? what you may think it's hip and cool, no matter if we talk about music, food, movies, literature, etc, he/she may have not even been born at the time you were enjoying the 'good stuff'
    so, try to keep up with the youth (and whatever cool rapper who appears half naked on stage and you don't understand anything he says cause of the screaming)  if you don't want to look like a granny/grandaddy to your 20 something significant other

7th: under no circumstances will you accept being called MOMMY or DADDY or whatever derivative coming from these two
I don't have to explain too much, do I? Once you enter that territory, it's going to be difficult to act and feel all sexy and provocative if you have your child's image in your head

       Now,  my 20 something seems to be another type, a kind of mutant, the more dangerous kind. 
      He's the type who spends time with me in the kitchen and not just to get some on the kitchen table (wonder if he ever thought about it, but since his mind is constantly on sex, I doubt he hasn't).
      He likes cooking with me and for me and he involves my son in this. Either he's really smart and hopes to get the mother by impressing the little one with his chocolate cake, or he's really like that and... I'm still not convinced.

      He prefers to stay in instead of clubbing while I prefer the exact opposite: I'd go out every week, twice a week if that were possible. 

     He wants to get married - let's not forget he's only 23. Yes, he's still living in Fairyfu*&ingville. Worst thing about this: he wants to marry ME! ME! I'm sorry KID, have we met? I have a child and was never married, not even to the father of my child...Yes, for a second I said yes few weeks ago...and the thought still lingers in my mind...
   But hear this: 'Marrying a younger man increases a woman's mortality rate
Women who are seven to nine years older than their husbands have a 20% higher mortality rate than if they were the same age' (read more here).
  So, my dear KID, since the difference between us is 9 years and given the above, you will understand my reluctance.

      Well, all in all, a 20 something partner may be difficult to handle, tiresome and sometimes very annoying, requires lots of attention and can be very stressful, but mine has dragged me in a hell of a ride...


  1. I just turned 30 this summer.... I'm terrified to date a guy younger than me!!!

    1. should, but, basically, unless you find the good one, you shouldn't commit to anything serious

  2. Let me say as a man 40 plus dating a girl 24, most of this happens to us as well but the not answering to texts gets even worse. The worst thing of all is that she only gets about half the stuff I remember.

    1. as long as she's still there, it means that doesn't matter so much ;)

  3. "Fairy*&ingville"'s ( love that term by the way) must have a villain in order to exist..So I just give my words of caution to the "KID" , you're a prime candidate for this role.
    .. It is all to easy in that state of mind to morph from the sincere young prince charming into the jealous, vendictive evil queen..
    Leave a trail of may very well need them to find your way back to yourself when you become the unwitting latter.

    1. hey B...all I got from this was "evil queen". I mean...come on :))

  4. Sorry Lex, That was directed toward the KID not you.
    Just pointing out that when living a fairy-tale things have a habit of taking rather nauseating twists and turns, and although the intentions may seem and feel gallant at the moment a little dose of reality has a way of turning everything on it's head. Just advising protection of his own identity should the deprivations you spoke of become unequivocally evident.....well that goes for you too ;-p

  5. Hi Lexy
    As a woman of the world...
    I would say go for it! Life's too short to be worried about the age gap....You have a hot randy young stud.....You should be shouting from the roof tops what Samantha said in "Sex in the City","“Go! Go! Lift that ass! Give it to me! Fuck me, you hot stud!"......
    I did have a younger lover,I was 29 and he was 21, he couldn't keep up with me!
    I wanted More More the price of being a Nymphomanic.......:P x

  6. Hey +J R Palmer, you're my kinda girl :) with me, it's the other way around : I can't keep up with him:( but I'm trying, I don't want to be "just a mom" as he likes to tease me sometimes ;)

  7. When in doubt about your relationship, remember the beautiful, fantastic Queen of Rock... Tina Turner!! Never let age come between you if the person has a good heart. Have fun with the KID and take it one day at a time.

    1. Hi Michelle, thank you for your comment. Well, it's been a fun ride so far, and within less than a month, the ride will have lasted a year :) will c how it goes from there, but sometimes, just thinking about our age difference makes me feel old :))