October 21, 2014

I'm not 30, I'm...

I was once told that two failed relationships in 15 years - one that lasted 7 years, the other 8 made me a failure. Especially cause now I'm in my 30's..or as I like to say, late 20's.

I, for one, wouldn't put it like that. 
I'd say it's experience. Or better yet, I'd say it's stupidity. 
Cause if I were smarter, there would have been 0 relationships before 35.
I saw a t-shirt once that said: 

It's easy to guess what my t-shirt would say.

Is it really like that? Should the fact that our relationships didn't work make us failures? What ever happened with I HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT ONE? Or the right one hasn't found me?

Honestly, that thing about finding our soul mate is just a load of crap, if you ask me. Just something to sell more Valentine cards and make little girls dream about big weddings and spending like crazy of stuff that will either be worn once or last less than the life of a butterfly.

And honestly, what sane person who is nowadays in their 30's expects to find someone who will stand by their side till death do them part? That is something you only find in fairy tales. And kids should question this: why does the story end when the characters just found love? 

Why doesn't it last until we see her driving him crazy during PMS?

Or him cheating on her cause she had one too many headaches each time he wanted to play doctor.
I mean, come on...

I am now really convinced that life is unfair for women. Why? 
Everybody knows it and it's been debated ever since a woman got out of the cave and realized that hunting was overrated. 
A man can start up a family even in his 50's. A woman, on the other hand can start looking for a nursing home at that same age. Just because the sperm can still find its way to ...wherever it's going. 

Now, going back to my love life...
Would I still be a failure in terms of relationshits if I had 0 serious commitments till this age, but had lots of sexual experiences? 
Would I still be a failure if I acted like most men and sleep around, then finally decide to settle down, not necessarily have a family, but just a relationship that lasted more than a bad TV series?  This asks for more than one post, that's for sure.

I may have had 2 failed relationships, but I'd say I've grown with each of them. And not cause I learned lots of things that would help for my future relationshit, but cause I discover myself. 
Maybe I'll die alone, maybe not, but, in the end, as Carrie Bradshaw said, "the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that’s just fabulous.”


  1. Don't worry Lexy!
    I have had 2 serious relationships which added up to 15 years!
    Now I finally found my ideal man...at the tender age of 39!
    Don't worry if you haven't found the right one yet, you have loads of time of looking and trying out ;) xx

    1. hey you goddess..to tell you the truth, I'm not even looking. I'm living the moment with the KID, hoping the moment will last...as long as possible ;-) And I'm really happy for you: you have a beautiful family and...a blog that makes me feel good each time I read it ;-)

  2. We cannot predict if a relationship will work or not; do not let anyone tell you otherwise. I do not regret anything.
    This will actually only makes you stronger and more admirable because you had been able to make it through and be the strong woman you are today, unlike many people who settle for something they are not even happy about, out of fear of being 'alone'.

    1. Hi Yessica, thank you so much for your comment and apologies for the severe delay in replying. What I've come to realize is that our experiences make us who we are, therefore I've never seen anything I've done as failures, no matter what I did. Life is full of surprises and waiting for the perfect one to appear seems just a waste of time and energy ;-)

  3. I'm turning 32 this December and I can tell you it's not an easy ride. It's tough especially with people categorizing you to "should have been married by now" group. But I can tell you too that it's been a fun adventure. Just hang in there and sooner not later, you'll see the beauty of turning/being 30. It's the new 20. :D

    1. Hey SuperLux..I just turned 33 and I'm dating a 24 year old, I have a 5 year old son and I was never married. Yes, it's been a hell of a ride, to say the least :-P But as I like to say, I'm living my late 20's :) Just enjoy the ride and don't wait for anyone to make you feel complete ...Oh God..that sounds like a bad commercial :D

  4. Who the heck told you that!?! Since when does having a relationship say success or failure in life?!?! What about your awesome kid? Or Your kick-ass door-less house? Sorry, but it's not all about a man.

    1. It's obviously a man who never had a real relationshit in his life who told me that ...Doohhhh:P

    2. Obviously he was also an bumbling idiot. I get defensive when people insult my friends. Especially in a sexist uncultured way.

    3. Ok this is too much for me ...I only have a heart, woman .you called me FRIEND :))) it's starting to get creepy :)

    4. Would you feel better if I started calling you names?

    5. Oh hell..why not? I think we reached that point in our relationship ;-)