August 26, 2016

Leave all hope?

      In one of my favorite movies - The mirror has two faces - Barbra Streisand is a teacher who asks her students a very simple question: 
Why do people want to fall in love when it can have such a short run and be so painful?

Lately, with everything I hear around me, the fair question to ask is :
Why do people want to be in relationships?

A very long time ago, I didn't think there was more than one answer. 

Today, at my age (still late 20's) and living in the Tinder era, I realize there are more people than I would've expected who want somebody :
     just to fit the social environment or
 because they're afraid of dying alone or
  cause they grew up with parents who never really taught them to appreciate themselves as individuals and not as somebody's partner or
  they were raised with the idea of having somebody by their side because that's what is expected of them.

      Again - here I'm only referring to the people and stories I hear in my world.

Me - I don't remember growing up with an idea in particular.
Never been the type who daydreamed about her wedding or the perfect guy.
But when I became old enough for relationships, I had my own scenario of what I needed:
   love that doesn't fade with time
    desire that comes from deep within, not from Victoria's Secret
  (loads of ) sex til I'm really really old
    all this and more gathered in a man 
who would look forward to talking to me about everything,
        who would never get bored in my presence
          who would be willing to work through hard times not because he has to, but because he wants to 

  And here, ladies and gentleman, I just described every THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER story.

  I mean, come on...
 How can we actually make this work when we have everything against us?
And when I say everything, I'm talking about...where should I start? I'm just gonna mention...

In a perfect world we should stop aging at 33. 
It's a good number: the body is in perfect shape (whatever that means for each and every one of us) and
      mentally - we had enough time to go through several events that would shape us as individuals and fully developed characters
do you ever wonder who actually decides what rules we should live by?
 what the perfect body should look like? 
  what the perfect relationship should mean?
why can't I make my own rules and be judged by nobody?

   models or women/men who look like magazine models
Yeah, I said it!
How can I, a chocolate eating curvy girl who thinks that 10 minutes of riding a bike is enough exercising, compete with a chick who eats carrots all day, looks like a broomstick and whose priorities are clothes and makeup?

   Yes, we all agree that I have a charming personality - when I'm not PMS-ing - and the things that really matter should always be above the superficial stuff. 

  sorry to burst the bubble, but, in the real world, we all know things are rarely (please appreciate the positive side of me) like that.

When he or she tells you: I don't really enjoy sex that much...that translates into:
I'd do it with anyone BUT you. 
"I wanna be a writer and travel the world."
"I wanna be a rock star..."
"I want everybody to be healthy and travel the world."
"I wanna have my own business ..." 
"I wanna own a restaurant or a coffee shop". 

How many couples fight about money? 
How many people stay in bad relationships because, on their own, they'd never make it?
  Ok..there are still lots to say, but enough with the negative for a Friday :-D
 I'm going to try get some sleep, but judging by the last few nights, my mind is going to wander again and tomorrow at work I will look as if I were auditioning for THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.

PS: hey KID

August 15, 2016

Soul, mate!

      "- You can meet your soulmate when going to buy bread.
 - Are you trying to tell me something?
  OMG!OMG!OMG! Panic! Panic! Panic!
           - I'm telling you that you're my soulmate"

     Yep, in the last  3 and a half months I've been busy becoming the KID's soulmate...again.
   I've gone from almost nothing to being his something, his someone...hoping one day he will call me HIS PERSON once more.
     I've gone from one too many break ups to a marriage wish.

    Is it still possible to fall in love with your partner again years later and feel it as if it were truly the first time? 

It is and I am the living proof.

I realized that the guy I've been torturing for the last 3 years was just the right one. 
    I mean, who could resist a man who can cook, fight, scream, show up at your door, kiss, break stuff, make love, wake up in the morning and drive you to work...and I'll stop here, otherwise he'll grow another pair.

  I guess, 3 years later I was finally ready and, lucky for me, he wanted me too. Or still...

Good thing I had my revelation before my 40's...
   Cause the other day, I saw this absolutely stupid commercial on some stupid liver medicine and it said:
       "After you're 40, you deserve the best."

 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 
            Do I not deserve the best when I'm 20? or less in my 30's?

   Ok, I may be going a little far with this, cause the guy in the commercial was just talking about some stupid medicine, but all I got was this really misogynistic message that pissed me off. PMS could be blamed for it too...

     To me - and to me only, just to make it clear, it just felt like those commercials for cleaning products that only show women in the kitchen or bathroom: "Oh, I'm so happy I got this thing to scrub the floor with during my spare time."

  You know what? I'm officially pissed at men.
I recently asked my 7 year old son: Why do you think there aren't or rarely any men in this kind of commercial?
   And his answer hit me in the face:
       "Cause girls like to work around the house."

Excuse me...

  Lately, I've heard some stories about..
       guys who don't return calls
          guys who beg for a ..."job" on first
             guys who think they can play the ...emotional card on a girl just to get something
                guys who'd do anything to get as far as possible from their girlfriends
                   guys who do nothing for their relationships to work
                       guys crying over their ex's 
and these are all stories from some of the women I know.

    For some shrinks, this could be just another day at the office.
For me,  it's material for the book...

    This is not a story about how horrible men are ..
  nor about how defenseless women are...

     This is a story about people looking for different things in different ways, at different moments, hoping that, when they decide it's time, they will still find someone to meet them halfway.