October 8, 2015

On the "joys" of being a parent

           I'm just gonna pretend like nothing happened, like it hasn't been over a month since I last posted and just tell you this: parenting is hard. Hell yeah!

 Lately I've been watching a lot of +IISuperwomanII (+LillySingh) on Youtube. I discovered this wonderful chick thanks to another blogger's post. 
  Thank you nice blogger whose name I forgot and post I can't remember. 
   You know, in my defense, once you hit a certain age...you forget things...
What was I talking about again?

      Yes...the Superwoman's videos are about everyday life in an Indian family from Canada.
Instead of identifying myself to the kid, I'm identifying to the parents, of course.
OMG, I'm old!!!
I'm gonna be 24 for the 5th time in less than a month. 
Real Math test, ha? 34! Bloody 34 years old!!!!

    Can you feel my stress poring from your laptop? 

  Sooooo...I was saying...that parenthood is not a walk in the park. At least not for me...being a sort of a single part time parent.

Listen to this:
  •  I always ask KIDZILLA to clean his room
It takes him a few hours to put some Lego's away, but he does it.

Me, on the other hand...that's another story. It takes me a few weekends before I actually finish cleaning up everything in the house.

  • he has to eat vegetables and everything that is ...bleah..or try on new healthy stuff that I try cooking for him.
but I ain't touching that stuff..

      However...this is just small thing compared to what I had to deal with yesterday.

How many of you have been called to the principle's office cause your kid acted like the Antichrist? 
 Yesterday was my first time. There's a first for everything, right? 

I'd rather count sexual experiences and would start like this: yesterday it was my first time buying some rope...

  but instead, yesterday was the day when I also found out that my son cursed at school.

    This little monster...he can't even write properly, not even 7, he doesn't have an ID card, can't do dishes, can't cook, can't turn on the oven...
      well...after all these CAN'T DO'S, what he CAN DO is curse and make use of bad words that imply his dick.

  There he is..Generation Z representative!

I was actually waiting for the principle to arrive when I asked him what exactly he said and did for the teacher to require my presence.
  When he told me, I felt as I had been struck by lightning.

My sweet little KIDZILLA...to use that little mouth he says I LOVE YOU with to say those words. 
       To be honest, in a very twisted way, I know, it was also funny. I felt exactly like this parent right here:

     We came home, we talked...well, I talked, made him cry a bit, made him write 100 times I WILL NEVER USE BAD WORDS AGAIN. Something like this..

     Obviously, after all that, he's grounded until he's 18: no chocolate, no going out, no iPad, no TV, no nothing. 

       I'm sorry, I may sound too harsh, but damn, I don't want my kid to be a juvenile delinquent...cause this is how it starts..
    and Darth - his father, that is - is sort of helping KIDZILLA's Antichrist behavior. But this is another story...

   As someone very wise said:
        Small children, small problems. Big children, big problems.

Oh, before I go, I'm sharing one of my favorite Superwoman videos with you...cause I'm nice ;-)

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