March 3, 2015

The one about the angry woman

             They say women are at their sexual peak in their 30's.
                         And I'm beginning to believe that.
Why? Cause my 24 year old boyfriend left me alone for few months :-)
      Honestly, I don't even know if I still have a boyfriend, if I'm still in a relationship. Don't ask...

            What is a relationship anyway? 
Should that define me? My life as a 30 something woman? I say : HELL NO!

    I've been alone for 2 months already and I feel ...strange; it is an undefined

I miss him - no doubt about it - I miss the good him, I miss the good times, but what I seem to have recovered is above all this:

      Do women in their 30's have the right to have that? 
             Is love supposed to make you feel and act 

                              at any age? 
                      Is it mandatory to act stupid if you love someone?

       If I'm 

 does that make me someone who loves less or who doesn't understand love? 
      If my belief now is that love or life give no guarantees, should I be punished for that? 
          Do I have to tell someone that I believe in something eternal, when there is no such thing? 
                   Is there really anyone who understands a person like me? 

   I did live giving my everything to my other half until he found one who took everything. 
So now, you'll excuse me if I'm not eager to become the same retarded being.
Yeah yeah, I know what you'll all say: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. That's bullshit said by those who always try to find good everywhere; they have a name: optimist or naive...same for me.

             What's wrong with controlling shit for once?
        So what if that means that I'll be single for the rest of my life? 
                             Vaut mieux seule que mal accompagnee.

Ok, this really sounds like a very angry letter to future ex :-)

    Do I have to pretend I'm someone else just to avoid being single? No! No! 
I'm in my 30's and I say NO!

      Who says I have to be in a relationship to be considered normal? Yeah, I know: society!

   If I were Al Pacino or George Clooney, I'd be the eternal bachelor. But instead, I'll be the woman that must have really big issues to be single at this age.

    How much shit can a woman take? For how long do I have to wait for the kid next to me to grow into a man? 

So, I'm not perfect...but who is? Naomi Campbell! Wait...she has anger issues.
Not a good example!

   I will assume responsibility for things not working as they should, but up to a point. 

I am a woman who enjoys freedom. I've said it before and I say it now: I've always had it and always gave it back.
      Go, live your life, do what you please, do what makes you happy, but find time for 

find time to find ME, to discover 

and I'll do the same. 
 I'll go places, see people, do things, but will always come back to YOU, always find time to discover YOU, 
                                                 to find
 If you take that away from me, there is no place in this world for US. 
And that's final - at my age, I will not change that for anyone! And my age is something we don't joke about! At least, not anymore!

      I have a past and that past still lives in my present. Well...

                                         Deal with it!

                                   If you want me, you'll 
                                                for what
                                                 and have. 

And one thing that I've always believed in but forgot it for a while: we do not love someone for what we hope to change them into, but for what they already are.
   And if you see that the person next to you is not entirely what you hoped, but you're in love anyway, find a way to go around those things that are not perfect - find a way to work with those...perfect imperfections! 

PS: If you wonder where this anger is coming from, lack of sex may be the answer to your question.