April 9, 2014

What is love?

  It is now that I shall speak of something I know nothing about...
Romantic love, that is.

      Despite the fact that I spent half of my life in relationships, today I discover that love is still the great unknown. But is there anyone who can honestly say they know all or a lot about it? Cause I'd really like to see that person...and punch her/him in the face.

     One simple question: how much of myself should I give up on for the one I love? cause I'd like to have a guarantee that the missing part will be replaced by something else, something that my beloved shall give me in return, something that would eventually complete me.

But can I be selfish instead and ask my loved one not to take so much of me?

    I thought there was no right or wrong way to love someone, but I was shown there was. 
I learned that some will ask you to show things a certain way, their way...their way or the highway. To feel things a certain way...and if you don't ...well, in that case you're screwed. In that case, nothing of what you say or do or feel will matter. Isn't that one of the saddest things you've ever heard? 

     In my stupidity, I thought that love changes us. And our loved one would see us do things, say things, feel things that scream love...but apparently, if the change is not made under the right parameters...you got it: we're screwed.

I know nothing about love. I only know the person that I am when in love. And it seems that this person is incapable of showing everything I live inside...the inner me...the inner universe that is created around the one I fall in love with.
   And no matter how much I try, those things stay inside, as if they wanted to remain hidden. But it's not helping, cause once that universe falls apart, the damages can damn well be seen on the outside. 

     Is there really someone out there to complete me? Do you ever ask yourself that question? And why do we have to go through life believing that we're not complete unless we find someone to love and to love us back? 

    My theory is that

Cause when that happens, we start sharing or giving parts of ourselves to the other. And some of us give until we lose ourselves, we lose everything that ever was us and, sadly, we expect our loved one to come to our rescue. We want him or her to fill in the blanks, to fill the missing parts with something.
   Until we become someone else. We become someone who loves somebody. What happens when that person leaves us? We're screwed. Cause we have to start it all over again.

I know nothing about love; how to get it, how to keep it, how to give it. Or maybe love knows nothing about me.

PS: it's been a year and 6 days since my first post, but who's counting?



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